Slightly Irregular News
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420 gags for your show for only
Dave Dworkin's Ghostwriters has revamped its "Up Yer News" feature and released the very best of bits that were used by stations from New York to L.A. by some of America's top radio talent. This material includes the best of the best! Slightly Irregular News is a news parody especially designed to be used daily on an on-going basis. The feature proved to be so popular that many stations were charging premium rates for adjacencies to this bit.
You be the judge...here's a free sample of "Slightly Irregular News." And feel free to use this sample on the air today!
WHOOPI GOLDBERG HAS SIGNED TO STAR IN A BROADWAY SHOW. THE PRODUCTION REVOLVES AROUND A LIVING ROOM SOFA, AND WHOOPI WILL PLAY THE PART OF A CUSHION.
A RECENT SURVEY SHOWS THAT 83% OF AMERICANS FEEL THAT PUBLIC SCHOOLS AREN'T DOING A GOOD JOB. THE OTHER 17% SAID, "HUH?"
THERE ARE RUMORS OF A NEW SCANDAL IN THE _______________(POLITICIAN'S) ADMINISTRATION. A SPOKESMAN SAID, "I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO SAY UNTIL WE FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT THE ALLEGATIONS ARE...AND EXACTLY WHO ARE THE ALLIGATORS.
LAS VEGAS CASINO OWNERS RECENTLY DECIDED TO REPLACE PIT BOSSES WITH PIT BULLS. THEY FIGURE GAMBLERS WILL LOSE AN ARM AND A LEG FASTER THAT WAY.
A VISIT BY JAPAN'S PRIME MINISTER HAS PRODUCED AN HISTORIC TRADE AGREEMENT. JAPANESE SEMICONDUCTORS WILL ONLY BE ALLOWED TO WORK WITH JAPANESE SEMI-ORCHESTRAS.
MORE CORRUPTION TO REPORT IN THE BIG APPLE! A MEMBER OF THE ROCKETTES HAS BEEN INDICTED IN A KICKBACK SCHEME.
THE PRESIDENT HAS RETURNED FROM BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL WHERE HE UNDERWENT A ROUTINE EXAMINATION. DOCTORS SPENT SEVERAL HOURS EXAMINING HIS ROUTINES
(C) Copyright Dave Dworkin's Ghostwriters, 1997.
Brought To You By... Over 100 fake show sponsors
A great way to start and end your show. Here's a sampling:
(WARNING: DJ DISCRETION ADVISED!!!) TODAY'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY POP-TARTS... LOOSE WOMEN WHO EXPLODE.
TODAY'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CORN CHEX, THE MONEY DJs USE TO PAY FOR JOKES.
TODAY'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY NEW TV GUIDE DEODORANT. YES, TV GUIDE DEODORANT...100% EFFECTIVE IF YOU HAVE HBO.
TODAY'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DODGE TRUCKS. REMEMBER, SMART PEDESTRIANS DODGE TRUCKS.
(WARNING: DJ DISCRETION ADVISED!!!) TODAY'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY VICK'S 44D...THE COMBINATION COUGH SYRUP AND BRASSIERE.
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